Sunday, October 30, 2011
I am going to use my mom as an example of a women who is dependent on a man. When she was eighteen, my mom married her first husband and was living with his family, she decided to not pursue a higher education, but to rely on her husband to support her. She then decided he was a little crazy, so she was going to leave him. After she left him she had to move back in with her mother, since she was unable to support herself at the time. She then married my father and was still very young and was able to support herself with the job she was working at the time, but with his income they were able to go out and have nice things as well. She was smart and did not have a child with a man until she was married. It could be good for a women not to have a child with a man before she is married to him, becuase when a couple has a child they become dependent on eachother. My parents had me about five years after they were married, then they decided to break up and my mom married my step dad. I think she became very comfortable with him becuase of his income, but when they began to have problems in their marriage, she realized that leaving him was not an option because she would not be able to support her self with out his income. I also do think that her dependence on her husband increased when she had my younger brother, also when she started making less then half of what she had been at her job.
A prime example of a women's dependence on men is in the 1950's when women had to be married and did not have the ability to support themselves. In the article by Stephanie Coontz, "What We Really Miss About the 1950's" she explains some reasons why women were dependent on their husbands. Coontz explains, "...while job segregation for working men and women seems to have peaked. These demographic changes increased the dependence of women on marriage..." In the example of my mother being dependent on her husband, one of the reasons was becuase she was making almost half of her wages at her job and she had children to care for. In my mom's case, she could not support herself with her own income so she had to stay in her marriage just like some of the unhappy married women in the 1950's. My mom's situation was different from the mothers that had to stay home in the 1950's becuase these women did not have a choice becuase of the descrimination of women in the workplace.
It is different now becuase most women have the ability to choose to work, stay home, or to go to college, so they have the ability to support themselves depending on their choices. Women can now also live without a husband and support themselves. Although some women live without a husband and are still dependent, since they recieve welfare from the state. In the article "What Do Low-Income Single Mothers Say about Marriage" Kathryn Edin explains,"If they are to marry, they want to get something out of it. If they cannot enjoy economic stability and gain upward mobility from marriage, they see little reason to risk the loss of control and other costs they fear marriage might extract from them." Edin is explaining that some women are still currently dependent on marriage becuase they just want to get somthing out of it like money. Usually if a mother is on welfare and then gets married she has to depend more on her husbands income then the welfare. My mother on the other hand is dependent on her husband, but she did not marry him only becuase he has money like some lower income women, she married him becuase she loves him.
I am not saying that marriage is bad or that depending on others is horrible, BUT I think that when a person is independent there are more positives then negitives. This is becuase an idependent person has the ability to leave a relationship if it is not working out becuase that person can support themselves with a job. In my mother's case she could not up and leave when she was having problems with her husband because she did not have enough money to support herself. So my mother urges me to do my own things and make opportunities for myself that she did not have, like going to college and pursuing the career I want in my life. For women to have this opportunity to be independent and support themselves was what feminists have fought for, so that women can be equal to men.
If you are to think about what it would be like if women did not have equal rights to men, some of the rights that are taken for granted might be: the right to vote, go to school, hold a job, or wear pants (to just name a few). Women now a days might appriciate the opportunities women now have and might realize they might have taken some of them for granted. I am not saying that women have every single equal right to men because there are still some problems women are still dealing with. BUT I am saying that women should take advantage of the fact that they can attain an education and have a career that will enable them to support themselves. I know that personaly I do not want to be entierly supported by a man becuase I want to take advantage of what I can do and be the best I can be in my career and in my life. I also want to be able to support myself in any situation, especially if I want to get out of a relationship I do not want money to stop me from leaving.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Bromance. I’m sure many of you have heard of it, hell I’m sure many of you have it. Bromance is the concept that has to do with homosocial behavior. Don Romesburg defines homosociality as “a window opened within mainstream popular culture that shines light on male emotional relationships that place neither sexuality nor-more crucially-its disapproval at their center.” In other words, men can “act” homosexual or girly but not be perceived as gay, or looked down upon. As long as the guy has a girl to go home to at the end of the day, they can act as gay as they want.
There are many examples of bromance in the media. For instance, in the film Superbad, Jonah Hill and Michael Cera play two best friends who have absolutely no boundaries, and they aren’t afraid to show it. They have sleepovers together, go shopping together, and even hold hands when they’re scared:
But as all bromances are, they both have girls at the end of the movie. Seth, played by Jonah Hill, has sexy Jules to go shopping with, and Evan, played by Michael Cera, gets to be with the cutie Becca.
As another example, reality star Brody Jenner started a reality show called Bromance where he is in search of a new best friend to roll with his crew. Nine men compete to become Jenner’s ultimate bro. In episode 4, ‘Bros in the Wild’, Jenner takes the remaining five guys out camping.The first hint of bromance seen is when Jenner tells his two best friends, who he has been friends with for years, that they won’t be allowed to come on the trip. Instead of “being a dude”, and shrugging it off, they get incredibly upset. They complain about him missing their “Tuesday night shows” and how he doesn’t spend enough time with them. This is a classic stereotypical woman thing to do, and is definitely not considered masculine.
The second hint of bromance comes into play when Jenner gets a life coach to talk to all the contestants while they are camping. Every one of them needed to share with the group the thing they are most scared of in life. They really open up, and almost every one of the contestants ends up crying and really revealing their emotions. And at the end of the talk, they all hug it out. This whole situation is once again the opposite of what masculinity is considered.
But of course, you can’t have too many bromantic moments without women, or else that would be gay, right? So when it’s time to give one of the contestants the boot, there are five women in bathing suits, waiting to hop into a bubble bath, each waiting for one of the bros (including Jenner) to join them:
As explained in “Holy Fratrimony” Romesburg talks about how women are pushed to the side: “An effect to this New Homosociality seems to be that women, pushed to the margins of these apparently progressive male relationships, find themselves represented in predictably boring ways-nag, supporter, sexy sidekick, mother, wife.” Jenner’s Bromance solidifies this notion.
If you want to see this episode, click here:http://www.mtv.com/shows/bromance/episode.jhtml?episodeID=148316
In Sex, Power, and Intimacy Dr. Shaw and Dr. Lee say social scripts “reflect social norms, practices, and workings of power, and they provide frameworks and guidelines for sexual feelings and behaviors.” I would say that bromances defy these guidelines because they are acting the opposite of the generalization of masculinity. Despite growing up in a heteronormative society, these men seem to not be afraid of acting slightly on the gay or girly side, and for that I commend them. However I do have a question: If one of the contestants on the Bromance show were gay, would he be accepted? Or would he automatically be sent home because he can’t share the same experiences as the other men in the show? If a bro were gay, would Jenner assign a sexy man to be standing in a speedo, waiting to jump in a bubble bath with a successful contestant? I would lean toward no.
1) Sex, Power, and Intimacy by Susan M. Shaw and Janet Lee
2)Holy Fratrimony by Don Romesburg
3)mTV's Bromance episode 4: http://www.mtv.com/shows/bromance/episode.jhtml?episodeID=148316
4)Time Entertainment: Superbad: A Fine Bromance http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1653918,00.html
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Sunday, October 9, 2011
As I was questioning about what to base my blog on ... I surfed the web for numerous topics in regards to sexuality. I started to adjust my focus to sexuality in sports and came across Gareth Thomas and his story. First off I’ll start with a little back ground info on Gareth himself and the sport of rugby…. (a)
Gareth Thomas is a Welsh professional rugby footballer. He plays rugby league for the Crusaders in
Thomas’ public confirmation of his sexuality made him the first openly gay professional rugby player. Thomas told the Daily Mail, “I don’t want to be known as the gay rugby player. I am a rugby player; first and foremost I am a man.” (1)
Thomas was the master of disguise as a straight man. He would play off the “macho man” stereotype. He would go to the bars with the guys and would always be the first one start a fight. This relates to Michael Messner’s article Becoming 100% Straight. Messner discusses how in the sports institutions peers manually construct the definition of ‘masculinity’ and ‘heterosexuality’ and how players will act to control others’ perceptions of them and avoid allowing the true inner self to come out. Messner says, “…heterosexuality and masculinity were not something we ‘were’, but something we were doing.” (2) Heterosexuality is a constructed identity and institution that men engage them in to avoid shame and embarrassment if even being suspected of being gay and to conjoin with the titles of power and privilege. Male athletes have this persona that they have to live up to as being the “macho-man” and heaven forbid if you can be a homosexual athlete and still be just as amazing of a player as a heterosexual athlete. In Masculinity as Homophobia by Michael Kimmel, homophobia is referred to as a fear that other men will “emasculate us, reveal to us and the world that we do not measure up, that we are not a real man.” (3) Especially in the sports world, you don’t want to be the “weak link” and be called a “faggot” or “sissy” so you live up to the normal standards of the athlete.
Gareth Thomas is a hero to the gay community. Thomas commented, "I don't know if my life is going to be easier because I'm out, but if it helps someone else…then it will have been worth it.” (1) I think that it goes to show how strong of an individual Gareth is for continuing to still play rugby and to pave the way for other gay athletes to come out as well. Well done Gareth Thomas, lets hope that if there are any other gay athletes (male or female), you have shown them that they can be unmasked and not have to fret over the ridicule. I don’t really understand why it matters so much to society what an athlete, or anyone for that matter, does behind closed doors. It doesn’t change the fact that Thomas is a superior athlete at rugby. Unless this stereotype is broken, society will never learn to change or accept anything else. I’ve attached the link to an interview on the Ellen DeGeneres show in which I leave you with a powerful message from Thomas himself:
The power and influence that sports people have on the world in general is such an amazing thing and sport can change the world
and being gay in a sport and continuing on with that sport sends
such a positive message to children and adults.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Taylor Armstrong is a housewife featured on Bravo’s The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. She has received lip injections and struggles to maintain a healthy body weight. She does not eat any food, and the only calories she receives in her diet are from alcoholic beverages. She has admitted to undergoing lip injections, as well as injections of Botox throughout her face. However, a side-by-side comparison of her face before and after several bouts of plastic surgery seems to reveal her cosmetic work includes more than just injections. Based on the appearance of her eyebrows, it seems she has also received a facelift. I would also guess that she has undergone rhinoplasty. Her lip injections are very evident from viewing the before-and-after photos. Although all the housewives from Beverly Hills have received some form of plastic surgery, Taylor’s case is coupled with an eating disorder.